The secret to self confidence
What does the word confidence mean to you? When looking at what people describe they want when they say they want to be more confident, they are wanting to develop self efficacy. It means a persons belief in their capacity to succeed in specific situations and accomplish tasks which influences motivation, behaviour and choices. Persistence and resilience is developed over time. A lack of self efficacy creates a vicious cycle of not believing in oneself, not trying, not succeeding.
What can you do to develop confidence?
Recognise your strengths - shift the focus from what you struggle with or aren’t that good at to what you are naturally good at.
Show yourself more compassion and kindness - don’t fall into criticism or judgement.
Set small achievable goals - this is a more effective way of measuring success, be realistic about what you can achieve and celebrate the small steps.
Step outside of your comfort zone - if you never put yourself to the test, you will never create opportunities for your confidence to grow.
Learn something new - this is always a great practice to keep the mind, body and spirit focused and engaged.
Seek positive interactions with like minded people - try to avoid spending time with people that just don’t think the way you do, especially if they judge you easily or dismiss you.
Nurture the relationship with yourself - demonstrate to yourself that you have your own back and look after yourself just as you would want others to.
Replace negative talk - it creeps in very easily, so be on the look out for it. You wouldn’t say it out loud to another person, so don’t say it to yourself in your head.
The funnel of growth
It can be a useful exercise to look at a situation, it could be a recent one or old, doesn’t matter, but one in which you felt you were thrown a curve ball. And ask yourself two questions:
How has this hindered me?
How has this helped me?
Consider set backs, timings, outcomes, beliefs driving outcomes, feelings that arose, consequences you felt aware of and the opportunity for growth. This self reflection exercise can be really helpful in seeing all sides of a situation and to bring more balance into it overall.
Have you been wearing a mask?
It is also useful to examine the masks that you have used if you’ve struggled with self-acceptance, which is key when it comes to confidence. If you are able to embrace your authentic self and align your internal values with your external actions, that’s a big breathrough. "Taking off a mask" is simply the process of shedding the exhausting personas you may have developed as a temporary measure because you’ve not been able to fully accept yourself for who you are. Once you do this, it gives you the space to build genuine resilience, deeper relationships, and true self-assurance.