How to hold an energetic boundary
For the most part when we think about energy and boundaries, it’s easy to think about protection, visualising a bubble around you or a light, or to call on your guides. However in my experience working with energy for the last 11 years, I know this doesn’t always work and can prove ineffective.
The reason being?
Usually because it’s being called in through fear and therefore vibrationally this practice becomes compromised. There are other reasons why it won’t work which are more complex but if you have formed energetic cords, hooks and/or ‘habitual’ energetic patterning with someone, this can also be a reason why visualising a protective bubble around you doesn’t do anything.
We often overlook how intention and awareness can influence both our energetic fields and verbal interactions but these two qualities are extremely important. Our energetic language - that which can be felt - forms a part of our communication styles. If you are unconsciously communicating something and/or using words that don’t support your desired end goal (or how you really feel) then this will create misalignment and dissonance.
I teach my clients during coaching sessions how to stay aligned through communication so that it mirrors your energetic field allowing the two to work in harmony. When doing this work, it’s also worth considering how people respond when challenged, particularly in relation to their nervous system and the impact this has energetically. If you or others react rather than respond then the interaction shifts from conscious awareness to unconscious defaults (safety behaviours or coping mechanisms).
Let’s take a closer look at some key themes to bear in mind when you are around other people:
Energetic Boundaries in Communication - there is a direct link between your communication delivery and the importance of setting clear intentions before conversations. There is a role that the gap between words in communication plays - our perceived silence is where energy becomes stronger. So it’s important to have clarity and transparency to reduce misinterpretation. This is an important reflective tool to help you understand your individual communication styles and identify potential triggers, so that they can be addressed.
Effective Communication Strategies - So intention, delivery, and emotional awareness in communication all work together to produce unconscious patterns and emotional states that can affect how messages are received. Have you heard of the concept of "emotional contagion"? This is essentially where one persons emotional state can influence another. This is often picked up through the observation of non-verbal cues in communication. If you find yourself in a difficult or challenging exchange, sometimes the best way to approach this is by practicing detachment and focusing on being the best version of yourself - your true self - which aligns with the idea of not giving energy to potentially provocative interactions.
Difficult Conversations and Boundaries Strategy - the importance of practice and self-awareness is key. There is a difference between someone who is intentionally provoking a reaction versus a genuine misunderstanding or someone just having an ‘off’ day. The role of the nervous system will and can absolutely affect communication and energy levels. Something else to be mindful of if you find yourself in a difficult position is the connection between breath and cognitive function. Taking deep breaths can help regulate the nervous system and enable clearer thinking during stressful interactions. There is also the concept of remaining embodied during anxious situations rather than disassociating, which can affect how you communicate and process stress.
Staying Centered and Grounded - to stay centered and grounded when facing potential threats, is the difference between reacting and responding. If you find yourself over-explaining or giving excuses, this can indicate a lack of self-worth, and shared personal experiences about setting firm boundaries. Val agreed with the importance of not giving excuses and being authentic when saying no to requests. Sally-Anne concluded by emphasizing that maintaining a clear intention and field can lead to positive responses from others.
Relationship Energy and Communication Dynamics - there are always communication patterns and energy dynamics in relationships, which underpins how people can be drawn to or repelled by others due to energy coherence or misalignment. There are various communication pitfalls including over-explaining, redirecting conversations, and leaving responses too long. A good practice to get in the habit of doing is focusing on maintaining your inner harmony before engaging with others.
Strategies for managing difficult communication
We have all encountered different reactive responses to challenging situations, including pushing back, retreating, taking time to process, or internalizing feedback. So what are the strategies for managing communication challenges? How can you stay grounded and avoid the tendency to "exit the body" during stressful interactions? Over-explaining, redirection, and avoiding confrontation are common survival responses that can create energetic dissonance, so here’s a few things that can combat these pitfalls and align you to your truth and how you want to communicate:
slow down and be with yourself
embody compassion and intuition
embody creativity and inspiration
speak your truth even if it feels uncomfortable
work with your inner cycles and rhythms
acceptance of both shadow and light in yourself and others it’s not about right or wrong
live through the heart and soul, move away from overthinking and over-analysiing
connect with nature to ground yourself
don’t be afraid to be expressive
let got of control, don’t try to steer outcomes, especially from others
be vulnerable and let yourself be truly seen
You are your energy and therefore you are the only one that can master it
That can sound both reassuring and scary at the same time. The good news is, you can take charge, even if you feel like you’ve been sat in the passenger seat. First have compassion for yourself because the competition out there for your energy is immense. Distractions are everywhere, to do lists, responsibilities and just juggling life can leave most of us feeling tired, fragmented and unsure of ourselves. Awareness is key. Tune in on a regular basis. Ask yourself how you are feeling. Express yourself whenever you can through whatever medium feels right. Don’t jump hoops for others and become your best supporter.