3 steps to becoming whole
Through self-awareness we discover the parts forgotten, hidden or ignored that have fractured our very essence and soul expression of who we are. If we are to integrate these parts, back to one - back to a ‘whole’ state then the process becomes more about embracing all aspects of yourself through compassion, forgiveness, understanding, patience and of course, love.
How do we become whole?
And what does it even mean? It has been defined by:
“A state of forming a complete and harmonious whole in unity.”
“Feeling at peace and aligned with all parts of yourself working together harmoniously.
When you accept and love yourself, not needing validation or love from others to be happy - you are on the right path to wholeness. To be yourself and take off the masks, to believe in yourself so fully, that no matter what happens, you know you will be ok.
Notice the word harmonious was mentioned in both of the above definitions. It might be worth considering, that the parts of you that have been fragmented and stuck in disharmony, energetically speaking, is where the first steps to wholeness begins. Once you can reintegrate those parts through a process of transmutation, a harmonious state can be achieved once more.
The mirror effect
Sometimes when parts of yourself become fragmented, it makes it difficult to acknowledge their existence - it’s like they were never there and you no longer identify with these parts. A way that you can not only see them and realise they are indeed a part of you, is through the mirror effect. The role that others might play in finding and aligning all parts of yourself, helping you to see aspects of yourself through another. This can sometimes help us to identify the ‘missing piece.’ This can be witnessed as both an irritation, like a trigger or an inspiration, depending on the hidden aspect that is resonating through the exchange. To benefit the most from the mirror effect, it is crucial that you sit with the reflection and become aware of the emotions that are present to keep this part of yourself separate. If you feel fear or guilt or shame, feel it and soften it with your presence and awareness and willingness to look and truly see, truly feel your own pain of why this part of you became lost.
This process of course brings us into the shadow aspects of ourselves. These are the parts that have been deemed unacceptable. For example where you might keep rage, sadness, envy, greed, aggression and other emotional aspects that you feel you can’t integrate. As with anything, awareness is key and a willingness to be present for yourself.
So what are the 3 steps?
Be willing to tune into the disharmony of yourself without judgement or guilt, only compassion and love.
Use the mirror effect as intended, not to make you feel worse or stay fragmented, but to recognise your triggers in order to integrate the parts of yourself that you have rejected.
Once you have acknowledged these parts, felt them fully, let go of the discord and integrate that part of yourself through presence, acceptance, empowerment and love. You are human, not perfect. You make mistakes and you learn. Stop scoring yourself off of ideals that society pushes you to conform to. Embrace your uniqueness and honour yourself and your feelings.